Military Spouse Life - May is the Month of Appreciating the Army, and May 11 is the Day of Appreciating Military Spouses! Our servicemen and their spouses do so much for us! And sometimes they don't get the recognition or recognition they deserve because we may not fully understand what they go through in their daily lives. We may not realize how differently they must manage their marriage and family because of the distance and the demands placed upon them.
Therefore, I am very grateful to my friend Jules Read for the willingness to share information about the life of a military spouse! In this interview, she talks about the high impact of the military on all aspects of their lives and how she can take away the normal benefits of a relationship, such as spending holidays together or attending major life events such as the birth of a child. child He also tells how each of them grew up in their independence and mutual trust. Jules ends by sharing tips on how to keep a long-distance marriage fresh.
Military Spouse Life
I hope that as you read his interview, you will respect them for the sacrifices they both made for our country. Hopefully it will also help you do things that non-military couples might take for granted, such as seeing each other daily, being able to communicate consistently, or having a second person to help with everyday life chores. I know my appreciation has grown and I've learned things I didn't know about life in the military before.
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Tell us a little about your relationship. how did you meet? At what point has the military played a role in your relationship?
Moroni and I met on January 1, 2013. I just got home from serving a full-time mission at my church. Our brothers were best friends and believed we would make a great couple - they were right! Moroni and I fell in love early and were married on May 24, 2013.
When we met Moroni, he was already in the army. He was drafted a few years ago, then moved to the reserves and signed with the BYU ROTC program. I knew from the start that he was going to be an officer on active duty. I've always wanted to serve my country, but I've never felt comfortable joining the army. I felt this was the best opportunity to serve my country. When Moroni and I knew we were getting married, we always said we'd see how we liked life in the military and make adjustments if needed.
The military is a way of life; There is no area of your life that is not affected by the military. Among the people there is a saying: "You are married to the military." Whatever the army says stays. It doesn't matter if it's your anniversary, birthday, baby's birth, graduation, you're sick or your kids are sick - if the military needs your husband, the housework is left to your spouse. In the last two and a half years that Moroni has been on active duty, we have moved three times from three different states. In the past two and a half years, Moroni and I have lived together for eight months, and those eight months are not consecutive. That's why the military has a big impact on our marriage. Some negative aspects relate to separation. We're apart more often than together, and that can cause some tension at times. However, there are also some positive aspects that make us both stronger as individuals. We still rely on ourselves whenever we can, but we have become more self-reliant. We also learned to communicate in a different way because after implementing Moroni, we can't talk face to face, so we learned how to really dig deep and communicate by asking each other a lot of questions. I learned so much more about Moroni and this man, I married a stud! There's another side to this because sometimes Moroni only has five minutes to talk, and we have kids and they want to see their dad, so we have to make adjustments. This lifestyle has also helped us to trust ourselves more. Moroni trusts me to take care of everything at home and raise our children. I trust that he will do everything in his power to put us first and stay true to his values.
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My military wife's friends are like my family. We see each other in many things! When I started working with my second child, Moroni was recruited. All I had to do was text my friends and one of them came and slept on my couch where my daughter was sleeping. I am very grateful to my friends and their support. I met amazing women!
Another thing most people don't know is that we can't plan. For example, we can schedule a paid vacation and at the last minute the military might say my husband can't go. When Moroni was sent, I didn't know what day he was coming home until the week he came home! The inability to plan definitely keeps us in check! We learned to be flexible and enjoy the time we spent together. My mantra is, "Okay, shall we do it now? Bright!"
What qualities or virtues do you consider most important to the success of your marriage?
Our faith in God and our adherence to gospel principles are essential to the success of our marriage. The virtue of gratitude played a large part with Moroni, and I will remain close. It's so easy to be negative about isolation and long hours. During our last implementation, I really learned to be grateful and try to think positively. While on assignment, Moroni missed many holidays and important events, one of which was the birth of our second child. It's very easy to get upset and angry, but it was important for me to understand that being grateful for what we have and thanking God for everything brings happiness. Moroni wants to be present at every event and would be if he could choose. I need to remind myself. Moroni is not always able to attend church because he is on assignment or out of training, so he studies the scriptures and prays a lot. Triangle rule (
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The idea that your marriage has three parts with God at the top and each spouse at the other two points
), and the idea that we are getting closer to God is absolutely true! Of course we have our differences and it's very difficult to get back together after months apart; But if we stayed true to our covenants and tried to stay close to God during our separation, our marriage will remain strong.
This is difficult. During our nine-month implementation, we could sometimes talk to our children for 45 minutes (on a good day), and there were times when we didn't talk for a week. Moroni was deployed to Korea and it was a slower deployment than a combat deployment which meant he had a cell phone and could call us when he had time. It was made difficult by the time difference, it was 14 hours ago. I sent her packages to show her how much I love her, but it would be too expensive so I couldn't do it very often. Once a week, usually once every two weeks, we tried to find a time where we could talk without the kids! Some of my friends had a fun Sunday where they sent their spouses cute pictures of themselves. Even if Moroni didn't see my message or email right away, I knew we'd be in touch. I think the best way to keep our marriage fresh is to continue dating after he comes home and express our love in the language that makes the other person feel loved the most. Patience during reintegration (the process of learning to live again after a long separation) and finding common interests kept our marriage "fresh". She turned her head to me and uttered the most terrifying words: “You knew what it was like. You came in, didn't you?"
I always hate asking this question because somehow I knew what life in the military was going to be like - frequent moving, isolation, and the general feeling that life was like a revolving door.
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But at the same time, I really didn't know. Take marriage for example: you have an idea of what your relationship is like
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